Make your own Robert Garnham Poem with this Automatic Robert Garnham Whimsy Generator!
Your birth month:
January : An ocelot
February : A badger
March : A haberdasher
April : A lollipop lady
May : A dental hygienist
June : Jeremy Clarkson
July : Mark
August : My Aunt
September : A duck wearing a Groucho Marx moustache and glasses
October : Another badger
November : The bus driver
December : TV’s Alan Titchmarsh
Your eye colour:
Brown : is playing a trumpet.
Green : is getting a refund on some trousers.
Hazel : is sneezing.
Blue : Is looking for the tv remote
Grey : has a dodgy stomach.
Other : is fumbling for some loose change.
Eldest child : Look out,
Middle child : Get ready,
Youngest child : Eat some cake and
Only child : Hang on a sec,
Blonde : They’re coming after you next.
Brown : There’s bound to be an argument.
Red : They’ll send you a Facebook request.
Grey : run!
Black : did someone say ‘plop’?
Bald : Fetch a bucket.
Other : Put the kettle on.